Enjoying a slower paced life
I’ve done it again and left it far too long to write but this time I won’t apologise. These last few months have taught me that I no longer need to feel guilty if I’m not constantly pushing out content, there is so much more to life than just continuously striving for success.
I have grown up being told that success means a good job, the promotions, the nice car and being able to own your own home… coming from a council estate the pressure to do better was even higher… but not from my family, from myself. I created this expectation, why? I couldn’t tell you.
I have always pushed and pushed to do my best, work hard, get the best grades, get the job, move up the ranks… Even in my art I have been pushing myself to consistently create work, promote, do events. the list goes on, but why? Did I think I was building to some incredible life?
These last few months since changing to a new day job, (away from people mgt) I have felt the best I have felt in a very long time… it definitely makes a difference when you enjoy what you do. I knew moving away from my previous job would reduce my stress, but I didn’t expect to feel so incredibly happy and relaxed!.. I feel like a different person it’s ridiculous.
And I think because I'm feeling so much better, I’ve lost that need to push so hard with my art. I know that before I was so unhappy that I needed to make the art business work, I had to, it was either continue in this job that’s making me miserable or make it as a full time artist. No pressure ey! But now, in this new role, I can see a life where I can happily continue with my art alongside this job without feeling as though my art is suffering.
If anything my art has got better because I’ve removed the pressure, removed this pretend deadline that I made myself. I felt like I was racing, trying to get to a finish line that didn’t exist.
Now, I’ve realised, the whole bloody point is the journey!.. So enjoy it for fucks sake! If I don’t post on instagram every week… who cares?!.. If I don’t create as many paintings as I wanted to, so what. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m happy and enjoying what I’m doing.
I did Fusion Art fair again earlier this month, and I remember last year thinking I need to be a sellout so I can quit my job. I put so much pressure on myself and felt so low when I had to go back to work on Monday. This time however, the pressure was off. I enjoyed the event, sold well which was a bonus but then what surprised me the most, I was looking forward to going back to work after! Who’d have thought it… you can actually enjoy your job.. ha ha!
Some would say I’ve had an epiphany, that you can enjoy life at a slower pace. Your spare time doesn’t need to be filled with constructive things. You can just relax, take as much down time as you like nobody is going to tell you off because you spent all Sunday in front of the telly!..
So going forward, I’ll continue this new way of thinking and keep enjoying the little things. Painting when I’m in the mood and being productive when it feels right. Otherwise, you’ll find me on the sofa!
I do have one thing I need to get organised for though and that’s an exhibition coming up in May at Heart Gallery in Hebden Bridge. Botanical Bliss : Art in Bloom will be running from the 3rd of May until the 25th of July.
The paintings are done, I just need to take them to the gallery, but I’ll be there for the exhibition launch which will be fun.
Other than that I’m going to take a slower pace this spring and summer, enjoy the nice weather when we get it, spend lots of time gardening and continue exploring ideas in my painting when the feelings right.