finding where I belong

I know, I know… it’s been a while and I haven’t written anything in ages but I’ve been a tad busy with life so apologies.

I have been meaning to write this since March when I attended the art fair but struggled to find the time. Better late than never though right?..

So I attended Fusion Art Fair last month in Harrogate, although I have done art and craft fairs before this is my first serious art fair at this kind of level. And when I say level what I really mean is price…. it was way more expensive than what I have paid previously so I almost didn’t do it! But as they say you’ve got to spend money to make money so I took the plunge and it was well worth it.

I’ll be honest I was terrified, the most nervous I have been for any event. I was worried it would be a massive expense for nothing, scared of what to expect, but mostly, I was worried I wasn’t ready. The old imposter syndrome kicking in. The usual voices telling me I’m not good enough, my works shit, no one will buy it… etc, etc. But I was about to find out the complete opposite.

As soon as I arrived the staff and other artists were welcoming and helpful, immediately put my nerves at ease. I had a quick scout around the event and saw so many different types of art, such a good mix of work that helped me feel much more comfortable. I do like to stand out a little bit but for the right reasons of course.

Got my stand setup, kept it simple so the paintings could stand out and I was ready to go. The imposter syndrome kicked in again but it was quickly squashed once people started arriving, within 30 minutes I sold 5 miniature paintings to a couple who love crows… phew, that took the pressure off! I got so much great feedback from guests and other artists. Those little doubtful voices could no longer be heard.

My stand at fusion art fair harrogate - 7th -9th of march

Day 2 and Day 3, not as busy as I hoped but still had some amazing feedback from visitors and I sold another 2 paintings! The feeling when someone gets your art and they love it, there’s no feeling like it. Even if they don’t buy a painting, knowing that they genuinely like what you create is so rewarding. Helps you know you’re on the right track.

I’m usually quite the introvert at events and struggle to engage with people all day, but at this event, I could have talked to people about my art all day. I think it was down to the kind of people that were there. Genuine art lovers and fellow artists, it felt easy, conversation just flowed and I enjoyed every minute of it.

I also spent a lot of time talking to my fellow exhibitors during quieter periods, it was great to get an insight into their experiences of art events and selling online. One artist I spoke to quite deeply about their decision to quit their job and go at it full time… “wish I was that brave” I said. One day maybe I will be.

Overall, it was a great event and I’m so glad I took the risk. I felt like I was where I should be, where I belonged. After all the nerves and doubt as to whether I was ready I know now that I was. My art is good enough and there are like minded people out there who want to buy it!

After such a high at the art fair, coming back down to reality to my 9-5 job was a bit of a low… I’ll be honest, but at least I know now that this is what I want to do. It’s not just a silly little hobby anymore it’s a serious art career and I’m ready for the next chapter.

Thanks for reading my rambles.

that’s it for now, stay strange

Cally

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Why does promoting your art feel so icky?

So I wanted to post a couple of stories on my insta today, just something simple, a quick update on my paintings…. and yet it felt so uncomfortable to do and took me about 12 attempts until I finally felt relatively happy with the videos. But why is this? Why does it feel so awkward, so cringe, to talk about my art? You’d think I’d want to shout out as soon as I have any new art work to talk about, eagerly anticipating the likes and comments! But I don’t, I hate it, I have to force myself to post anything about my work… but why is that?

It got me thinking, is it just me? am I overthinking it? Could it be something I’ve learnt growing up? Or is it a cultural thing?… Well, I don’t think I’ll know for sure but I’d hazard a guess it’s probably a bit of all three.

I think as brits we don’t like it when people brag or boast, we call them big headed or make sarcastic comments like…. oooh it’s alright for some! (in my broadest Yorkshire accent). Especially growing up with a working class background you were always taught to be modest, gloating was not ok. If you had something to gloat about it would probably raise suspicion!… I remember so clearly as a child showing off my new Nike air max trainers to my friend and her first comment was “where’d you nick them from?”… Just to clarify, they were not stolen…. ha ha ha, but this comment always stuck with me. Why do people assume the worst?

So maybe this is linked to it, maybe I feel in some way that promoting my art is boastful, or suspicious, especially if I mention recent sales success or good feedback. It feels like I’m screaming “LOOK AT ME I’M AMAZING!!”… Obviously thats not what I’m saying but why not? Why can’t I say that. Why does it feel so cringe to tell people how proud I am of myself and what I have done?…

I am overthinking it though aren’t I?… because I know that after I’ve stressed and rewritten a post like 10 times, no-one will think twice about it! I’ve tried hard this past year to show my face more on socials… thats a whole new level of anxiety, but I have to keep reminding myself that no-one really cares! And those that do, care for the right reasons, they listen and they read because they are interested in what I’m saying and promoting. I just need to remember that. Hopefully it will get easier over time and in some cases it already has. I’ve no problem videoing myself with zero makeup in my painted overalls. That would have been an absolute no go last year so at least I’m making some progress.

I don’t think the icky feeling will ever go away completely, but I’m hopeful that the niggling thoughts in the back of my head will get smaller every time I post… fingers crossed!

Thanks for reading my rambles.

that’s it for now, stay strange

Cally

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